


April Snow

by SomeCoolUsernameDuh



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Boys Kissing, Comforting Draco Malfoy, Depressed Harry Potter, Draco Malfoy & Pansy Parkinson Friendship, F/F, Gay Draco Malfoy, Harry Potter & Ron Weasley Friendship, Hermione Granger & Draco Malfoy Friendship, Hermione Granger & Harry Potter Friendship, Hogwarts Eighth Year, Lesbian Hermione Granger, M/M, Magical Boys, Non-Supportive Ron Weasley, Pining Draco Malfoy, Slow Build Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, ron hating draco
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-20
Updated: 2020-05-11
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:02:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23752786
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SomeCoolUsernameDuh/pseuds/SomeCoolUsernameDuh
Summary: Harry was always in a good mood, when it snowed. Or was it always snowing when Harry was in a good mood?Featuring a very depressed Harry and Draco who is trying to help him.
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, Hermione Granger/Pansy Parkinson
Comments: 14
Kudos: 39





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> There's a bit of a self hurt moment and even tho nothing actually happens, I wanted to put a warning.
> 
> This is the edited version, I rewrote it and now it got more ~FEELS~

This year winter was very cold. It was always freezing outside, though it didn’t snow once. It didn’t snow on Christmas, it didn’t snow on New Year’s Eve. Not once a snowflake fell from the sky. It did rain, though but it wasn’t the same. Rain felt cold and painful for Harry and snow felt happy and comforting.

Harry was sad all the time. He wasn’t upset about anything in particular, he was just sad. He wasn’t crying or whining. He was only blankly starting at the wall or the ceiling, feeling empty inside. He couldn’t keep his attention on anything for more than five minutes, so books didn’t help him and lessons were forgotten about.

Harry was always tired. Throughout the day he was yawning and almost falling asleep but when he reached his bed, he couldn’t sleep. Sometimes there was too much thoughts in his head to sleep. Sometimes his head was too empty to sleep. Usually he would drift off to asleep only in the early morning, leaving him with two-three hours of rest. It wasn’t good for him but he didn’t care. It was always weird to lay in bed all alone, the only one hugging him was the hands of the cold winter nights.

At some point he gave up and started sleeping on the floor, going out of his room only to poke the food at the great hall. He didn’t want to do that but usually Hermione would barge in every morning and take him there by force.

Ron and Hermione were trying to help him but nothing worked. Ron lost hope somewhere around Christmas, when Harry didn’t even open his presents.

\- He’s hopeless! - whispered Ron to Hermione, looking at Harry, who was poking around in his food.

\- There has got to be something that might cure him.

It was an early February morning, a very cold one. The coldest one of the year probably. Harry was just laying on the floor, running his hands through the carpet. It was soft and comforting, making him forget about the things in the world outside of his room. Maybe the outside of his room could forget about him too? Thenhe wouldn’t need go to the great hall every day. That would be great.

Hermione came in, interrupting his thoughts.

\- Harry, you have visitor.

He didn’t care. Some people were coming to him every day, most of them he didn’t even know the names of.

\- Mcgonagall sent him to tutor you. Draco takes the same classes as you and he will help you get your grades up.

Hmm, Draco. Weren’t they enemies or something? Or did it somehow go away at the beginning of the eight year? Ah, he didn’t care anyway.

\- I’ll leave you two to study, you have a lot to do. - said Hermione leaving.

“It would probably help him to interact with other people.” - Hermione thought - “He hasn’t been eating, sleeping or feeling anything for months now. Maybe Draco will help him somehow.”

Draco walked across the room, stepping over Harry, and placing himself on the dark armchair across the bed.

Harry noticed that Malfoy’s hair was different. It wasn’t long and slicked back like the years before. The hair on top was parted in the middle, falling behind his ears and all of the remaining was buzzed off. Harry liked that kind of hairstyle much more than the long one. It suited Malfoy better.

\- Let’s start with History of Magic, shall we? - Draco asked

\- Mhm. - Harry was still staring at his shiny hair.

\- Why are you on the floor, Potter?

\- What’s the point of laying in bed if one can’t even sleep properly?

\- That seems quite reasonable.

Malfoy opened the book and started reading out loud to Harry, sometimes stopping to explain something. Harry looked away from Malfoy and concentrated on the wall, forgetting there was someone else in the room.

After two hours of studying Draco left his notes and went away to Quidditch practice. Harry missed Quidditch but he knew that if he would like to fly again he would need to attend lessons and get decent grades, he still wasn’t ready to do that.

Harry looked at the notes written in neat handwriting, read them over and put them in the exact same place as they were.

He understood everything Malfoy was saying but he couldn’t recall anything even if he tried. The notes didn’t help either, it was like his mind refused to think.

Another day passed. Draco came over again to read to Harry and leave his notes. Potter read them but still didn’t memorise anything. He actually wanted to do something for the first time in a while but he couldn’t, which made him feel helpless in his own body, like he wasn’t living anymore.

Days passed and passed, it has been a week since Malfoy first came. The pile of notes beside Harry was growing, still not leaving a trace of knowledge in mis mind.

The notes were all written with neat handwriting and Harry enjoyed reading them, even though they didn’t help. “He doesn’t do anything. I don’t know why I’m still trying.” - Draco thought.

Harry started sleeping a bit longer. He even had a dream, a normal one, not a nightmare. He was flying above Hogwarts, staring at the stars at night. Then snow started falling from the sky, Harry breathed in the cold air and felt so calm and relieved. He knew it all wasn’t real but he didn’t want it to end. It would be wonderful to just stay there forever, looking at the stars, snowflakes landing on his shoulders, breathing in chilly air. Even though it felt cold, he didn’t mind it. He woke up feeling calm and kind of safe. Harry couldn’t describe the feeling but it definitely was a good one.

It was probably a Saturday. Or maybe a Sunday. Harry couldn’t decide which one was it but he could hear the loud voices in the living room, so there was no lessons today. Draco came. Making himself comfortable in the armchair he looked at the pile of notes. They hadn’t moved since he put them there yesterday.

“It’s alright” - he thought “Potter’s going through something. He will try sooner or later.”

He opened the book and started reading. Just like usual Harry was staring at the ceiling. When Draco asked a question.

\- You know, I had a dream today, I was flying at night and it started snowing.

\- That’s enough Potter! I have been trying to save your grades for almost a month now and you still haven’t done anything! Why can’t you just try?

A month? Harry thought only a week had passed. Maybe he just lost track of time. Doesn’t matter, he really wants this year to end.

\- I left you all of this stuff: exercises, notes, questions. And you haven’t even bothered to read them once. They are always in the same place where I leave them the day before! “Oh Potter is depressed! Oh Potter needs help!” I am sick of it. I have real friends and I am wasting my time with you here! I’m gonna tell Mcgonagall that I’m quitting!

Draco stormed out. Harry didn’t know how much time had passed since Malfoy went away. Two days probably? Somewhere deep down he felt guilty for treating Draco like that. But at the same time he couldn’t do anything with it.

He didn’t see the dream again, he didn’t sleep at all, not a minute. He was scared, mad, sad, all at the same time. He was mad at himself, at Malfoy. Scared Draco would leave him, scared to live further, scared of the future, scared that he couldn’t become himself again. What if he really couldn’t be the same anymore? what if he was stuck like this? Always being sad and feeling guilty about it? Could he end it right here? Was there no point in trying?

Someone knocked at the door. It opened with a slight creek and then Harry heard the sound of someone stepping in.

\- I’m sorry about what I said the day before. I... I understand what you are going through, the war influenced you the most. I am really sorry.

Malfoy heard a quiet sob. He slowly approached Harry, who was laying on the floor with Draco’s notes in his hands. It was the first time Harry has cried since the war. He didn’t know why but it felt painful and relieving at the same time. Tears felt too cold for his heated cheeks. They felt like they were leaving burn marks.

Malfoy sat down next to Harry, took the notes from his hands and wrapped both his arms around him making it easy for the boy to cry on his shoulder.

\- I got you, don’t worry.

Draco noticed something else laying next to Harry on the floor. It was a little knife, the one muggles use to sharpen their pencils. He took it and put it in his back pocket. No, Draco couldn’t let Harry hurt himself. Malfoy wanted to scream at Potter for being so stupid and thinking the sharp object could help him somehow but Draco knew that it would only make things worse.

They sat like this for a while, Draco saying calming words and Harry softly sobbing into his shoulder. When Potter pulled back from the hug Malfoy was ready for anything but not Potter’s red eyes. They were full of pain and sadness, it was awful seeing him like this.

\- I want this to end, Draco, I really do.

\- It will, I promise, just don’t take yourself away from me.

Harry was again in Malfoy’s arms, still breathing unevenly from the crying. Draco looked around. It seems like Potter was really trying to study, before he came.

\- I- I read them, I promise. Just don’t leave me...

Malfoy grabbed the boy by the shoulders, slightly pushing him away. He looked Harry right in the eyes, making sure Harry looked into his. He stared at him for a moment, trying to tell him what he thought without speaking.

\- Forget about the notes, I’m not leaving you. We will go through this together, I promise.

Tears were running down Harry’s face again. Malfoy hugged him, comforting Potter while he cried hysterically. It wasn’t quiet sobbing anymore, it was straightforward crying, which felt so relieving. Tears burning his face, Malfoy’s cold fingers stroking his back.

Harry’s breathing rhythm was coming back to normal, his eyes were not as red as before. Suddenly he felt cold. He started shaking a bit, which Draco noticed.

\- Hey, you okay?

\- It’s freezing here! Close the windows.

Draco looked up. The windows were closed and the fire was cracking in the fireplace. ‘There must be something wrong with Potter’ - he thought. Malfoy put one arm under Harry’s shoulder and one on the bed, helping him get up.

\- There you go. Let’s tuck you in and I’ll go look for Pomfrey.

Potter was soon in bed, covered with a blanket, still shivering. He was feeling worse than ever.

Draco hurried to get to the hospital wing, bumping into people, not bothering to say sorry. Right now helping Harry was the only thing he thought about.

At Pomfrey’s cabinet a signed hanged from the door knob. “Gone off to take potions, will be back on Friday”

‘What the hell?’- Malfoy thought - ‘eight years she hadn’t gone to a drugstore and now was the best time she picked?’

He ran back to the common room, searching for Ron and Hermione. They were found at their usual places by the fire.

\- Help! Potter is sick or something, he’s really cold and...

They didn’t need to hear the end of the sentence. Both Ron and Hermione rushed into Harry’s room, ready to help. The girl was already taking out her wand, as if preparing to attack the cold.

Potter was almost unconscious, his face red, body shaking rapidly. Hermione touched his forehead and after a few seconds declared that Harry had a cold, maybe the flu.

\- He needs rest and after his temperature is gone, some warm food. Malfoy, can you watch him tonight? If he gets any worse, send me a patronus.

Draco nodded, he was already sitting on the floor next to Harry’s bed. He couldn’t bear seeing him suffer so much. Suddenly he remembered something his mother always did for him, when he was sick. Draco casted towel and a glass of cold water, soaking the cloth in the liquid. He put the towel on Harry’s head, making sure it wouldn’t disturb him. Just as Malfoy had finished, Harry let out a quiet cry.

Draco panicked. ‘What should I do??’ - he thought - ‘Is it normal that he’s making noises? Should I call Granger??’

The solution came to him when he was already taking out his wand for a patronus. Malfoy took Harry’s hand and locked it with his own. The sick boy immediately relaxed and the slight crease between his brows vanished. Draco let out a sigh. ‘Didn’t know it was this easy’ - he thought.

He guarded Harry all night, changing the towel, making sure it was cold. Only at sunrise, Draco fell asleep, still holding Harry’s hand. He was still worried about Potter in his sleep, hoping he would get better.

Hermione and Ron came as soon as they woke up. They entered the room, seeing both of the boys asleep, Harry clinging to Draco’s hand. Hermione smiled at them and put her hand on Ron’s shoulder, telling him they should leave.

As soon as they were out of the room Hermione saw the look on Ron’s face. He was shocked and quite possibly mad.

\- ‘Mione, that doesn’t mean anything, does it?

She sighed. Ron wasn’t very good with changes. It wasn’t easy for him to understand the eight year concept, where there was no separate houses and Ron was sharing a dorm with a Hufelpuff and a Slytherin. It wouldn’t be any easier for him to understand now.

\- Oh no, no, no. They can’t date!

\- Ron. It isn’t up to you to decide who Harry can and cannot date. Besides, they were just holding hands.

\- Of course it is up to me! I’m his friend and if you haven’t noticed, he has been out of his mind lately! He can’t decide for himself right now, he will make bad decisions and then regret them!

Before Hermione could say anything, the door to Harry’s room opened and the boy who just got called “a bad decision” stuck his head out. He looked very tired but there was a hint of something else in his face. Maybe happiness? Love?

\- Guys, a little more quiet? - Malfoy asked.

\- Sorry, Ron was just being a complete moron. Would you like us to watch over Harry or do you want to stay with him?

\- I’ll stay, you go get sleep, it’s still early so you have time before the lessons.

\- Sure. Tell me if you need anything.

They left, Hermione judging Ron and Ron judging Draco. Malfoy went back into the room, almost falling asleep but fighting back the need of rest. No, he couldn’t he needed to take care off Harry… Draco’s eyes closed, mind drifting off to sleep.

Harry woke up a few hours after. He was feeling much better than the night before, though he didn’t remember much. He found Malfoy sitting on the floor, holding his hand, half asleep. Draco snapped out of his sleepy trance as soon as Harry moved.

\- Hey. - Harry was too weak to say anything longer.

\- Hey. - Draco was too tired from guarding Harry to say anything longer.

Harry soon fell asleep again. Draco made sure, that Harry’s forehead wasn’t hot from the temperature anymore. He found a book to read and was trying not to fall asleep while reading the novel and holding Harry’s hand.

Hermione came to check on the boys after her lessons.

\- How is he doing? - She asked.

\- Good, the temperature is normal and he hasn’t started coughing or anything like that, so he must be alright.

The girl sat besides Malfoy. She put her hand on his shoulder and started speaking softly, after taking a deep breath.

\- Umm... Draco, have you heard our conversation with Ron this morning?

Draco nodded. He heard it all loud and clear, blaming himself for letting them see him hold Harry’s hand. Now they wouldn’t let him anywhere near Potter, probably until the end of the year. He was always afraid that people would found out about him liking boys, especially he was afraid about someone founding out about his crush on Harry. He didn’t let anyone know, even Pansy. This was probably all because of his father. When Draco told him, his father completely stopped talking to him. He has been scared to tel anyone since it happened.

\- I should let you know that It’s fine with me if you like Harry. Not that you need my permission to date him, I just wanted to say it to you.

Draco was relieved. God, was he scared that Granger would say something horrible and make him feel worse. He breathed out and muttered a quiet ‘Thanks’ to her.

\- Draco, do you really like him?

\- Yes. - He replied too quickly, immediately blaming himself for it.

\- When did you know that you were... umm... gay?

\- I, uhh.. Sixth year? I don’t know, maybe earlier. I always felt a bit different but at first I thought it was how being a pureblood felt like. Eventually I realised I was just gay.- He let out a small chuckle at the end.

Hermione laughed with him too. It was a bit awkward but she liked being around Draco, who changed a lot since the war. She was quite sure that he would not call her names again and not hex her. Maybe they even could become friends.

\- Draco, if you ever want to discuss anything, just let me know, okay?

He nodded and a quiet ‘thank you’ escaped his lips.

\- Now go to your room, you have already done enough, you need sleep.

Draco nodded and went away, drifting off to sleep right after crawling into his bed.

Harry woke up somewhere near dinner. He saw Hermione sitting on the floor, reading a book.

\- Hi. I see you woke up. Feeling better?

\- Yeah, thanks for taking care of me.

\- Oh no, I did nothing. It was all Draco, he was here with you all night and came up with the wet towels idea, he took really good care of you. He is in his room if you want to see him, though he is probably sleeping and you need to stay in bed.

She took her books and left, leaving Harry alone with his thoughts. Before going away she got him some pancakes and soup from the kitchen so Harry could eat. He didn’t remember anything beside crying into Malfoy’s shoulder and feeling cold. It was probably all because of the fever. What happened in between him falling asleep and waking up? By the look on Hermione’s face when she talked about Malfoy guarding him he could tell something happened. And she never called him Draco before. That’s very strange.

Something clicked in Harry’s mind.

\- Oh, no!


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just Malfoy and Hermione bonding.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. If you came back for the second chapter, I edited the first one, so make sure you read the changed version.  
> 2\. In this fic Hermione and Ron never dated!  
> 3\. There is a vine reference so if anyone gets triggered by vine references, you should read this at your own risk.

After leaving Harry Hermione went to Draco’s room. She wasn’t quite sure what she wanted there but something told her to go.

She found Malfoy sitting on the bed, holding a small box in his hands.

\- Hey, I just came to let you know that Harry has woken up and is feeling better.  
\- Oh, thanks.

She left the homework for the next day and was already leaving when Malfoy’s voice stopped her. 

\- Uhh, Granger-  
\- Draco, if you want to be friends, we need to call each other by our names.  
\- Sure, yeah. So, Hermione, would you happen to know anything about... uhh... piercing?  
\- Yeah, one of my muggle friends taught me how to do it. Why do you ask?

She sat on the bed next to Draco.

\- Well, I changed a lot since the war and I don’t want to be associated with the old Draco. I want to start fresh. I already got rid of the old hairstyle and now I want to pierce my ear.

Hermione looked at him with interest, not saying a word. She didn’t realise how much has Draco changed. It wasn’t only how he looked like but it was like a whole new person was standing in front of her.

Draco didn’t like the silence. Was he being judged? Made fun of? He was so stupid to say what he said. “She now probably thinks I’m a moron or crazy.”- he thought.

The girl hugged him causing Draco to feel relieved. He still wasn’t quite sure if he could trust Hermione completely but he felt her supportiveness. She felt like an older sister or a best friend he never had. How could have school turned out if he was friends with Granger from the start? Would there be happy memories and funny stories? He wished he could start all over again.

\- So do you have a piercing gun or I will have to do it with a needle?

They both laughed, then Draco pointed to a box on his bed table. It was quite creased and look a bit dirty. Looked like half of Hogwarts used before it got to Draco but it was the only one they had.

\- I have been too scared to open it so I don’t even know how the gun looks like itself. 

They opened the box and took out the piercing gun. It was white but so used that it turned grey, there were some odd looking stains that Hermione decided to ignore. The machine looked quite scary even without the stains, there was also a needle inside the box, luckily, it was brand new and still in its original package. She took a small box from Malfoy’s hands. It was a little earring. The small piece of jewellery was round and flat, completely black. 

\- Draco, I’ll need you to turn around so you can face me. It will be more comfortable for me that way.

The boy nodded and did as he was told. his hand were shaking a bit. Maybe from the excitement, maybe he was scared. He heard one of the Hufflepuff girls say that it hurt so much when she pierced her ears, Draco hoped he would at least still have his ear after Granger pierced him.

Hermione took the piercing gun in her hand and put the needle in. She felt Malfoy tightening up a bit and she stopped to talk to him.

\- Hey, you can close your eyes and I will ask you questions to distract you, okay?  
\- Yeah, okay.

He closed his eyes and breathed out. Hermione was definitely right, he felt less scared now. 

\- So, where did you get the piercing gun?  
\- Uhh, well, Pansy gave it to me.  
\- Oh, how nice of her.

Draco Opened his eyes for a bit and saw Hermione’s blushed cheeks. She felt a bit uncomfortable after the mentioning of Pansy. 

\- Wait. No way!  
\- What? - Granger looked confused and a bit scared.  
\- You have a crush on Pansy!

Hermione’s face became even more pink. 

\- Well, just a little one. 

Malfoy giggled a bit and playfully hit her shoulder.

\- You go, girl!

Hermione smiled and continued wiping Draco’s ear with a disinfecting wipe she just casted.

\- Now, close your eyes, it might be painful a bit. I’m not a professional so I can’t promise you anything.  
\- Granger, I swear, if you rip my ear off i will- aahh!

Malfoy screamed and jumped up a bit. His right ear was red but still on its place. He ran to the mirror in his bathroom and was quite satisfied with the way he looked like. The earring looked very stylish with his trendy haircut and simple black t-shirt completed the look.

\- Thank you soooo much! You are like the best person on earth!  
\- Glad you like it.

She smiled. Having a pierced ear really suited him. If she was straight she might have even developed a crush on Malfoy. Oh how mad would Ron get! She giggled at the thought.

Suddenly, the door swung open. Standing there was Harry, heavily panting from the running. 

\- Stop your dirty hands right there, Malfoy.

Draco looked at him with surprise. He really didn’t know what happened and why was Potter suddenly mad at him. 

\- I know what you’re doing here, Malfoy and you should stop it. You know that your parents won’t allow it and you shouldn’t start dating if you can’t keep it up. 

Hermione and Draco looked at each other and both burst out in laughter. They were laughing so hard that tears started coming out of their eyes and their stomachs were hurting. 

Still giggling a little, Malfoy sat up straight on the bed and faced Harry who was very confused.

\- As much as I find Hermione attractive, we’re both too gay to date each other.

Harry raised his eyebrows and looked at Hermione with pure confusion.

\- You...

She nodded. 

\- I thought you were British…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This came out a bit smol but I am already working on the next chapter so it will come out soon. Make sure to leave me a comment if you liked it! Special thanks to VenusWulf for leaving such a positive comment, it really motivates me.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Malfoy wants Harry to go to therapy. Also a bit how Draco feels about Harry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, it's currently 20:57 in my country and it's raining so I thought 'why not post a chapter'. The plan is to post three chapters today, so this is not a big one.

Draco comes to Harry everyday. He helps him with studying and calms him when Harry feels weird. Malfoy makes sure Harry eats properly though it isn’t easy. They lay together on the floor and talk about what’s on their mind. They both find it relaxing. 

Today wasn’t an exception. Draco came to Harry with his books, ready to study. Everything seemed quite fine, until Malfoy noticed that something about Harry was a bit off.  
  
Harry started shaking a bit and his eyes were filling with tears. Everything seemed to be enormous but at the same it’s like the walls of the small room were closing and pressing against his shoulders. There isn’t enough air for him to breathe in and he gasps for it with his open mouth.

Draco sat next to him and hugged him. He knows how important it is to be with Harry right now, holding him, comforting him. He faces Potter and looks him in the eyes, slightly holding him by the shoulders.

\- Hey, Harry, focus on my eyes, okay?

Harry nodded and looked into Malfoy’s grey-blue eyes. He was trying to focus only on Draco and forget about everything else. It was hard but Harry knew it would help him.

\- Now take deep breaths. Yeah, like that. Feel better?  
\- Yes, thank you.

Draco smiled and wiped away the tears from Harry’s eyes with his hand. He hugged the boy again and made sure Potter wasn’t shaking anymore. He liked burying his face in brunette’s soft clothes, breathing in the smell of pancakes (the only food Harry would eat these days). They sat like that for a minute or two, their breathing rhythms synchronising, fingers locked together. Oh, how much Draco wanted to kiss Harry right now. To tell him it’s okay, and that he is his world, and Draco would never leave him. Instead, Malfoy bottled up that feeling and slightly pushed himself away from Potter.

\- Harry, do you know anything about therapy?

The boy didn’t say anything for a few seconds. Then, he nodded. 

\- So, Harry, I found out that there are wizard therapy sessions for those, who suffered after the war. They are held in St. Mungo’s. I will leave you to think about it and I will come back tomorrow, okay?   
\- Okay.

Draco wanted to stay so bad, but he knew he had to leave Harry to think. He took his hand away from Harry’s and stood up. Draco walked out of the room and went to the library. It became his second favorite place this year, always so peaceful and quiet. Except those awful sixth graders. Always kissing by the back shelves. Ugh. 

It smelled nice in the library. Like book pages and tea. Today was even better, it was raining! Rain was always Malfoy's favorite weather. The rhythmic sounds of droplets hitting the window, both chaotic and peaceful at the same time. It was like the end of the world, nobody on the streets, the sky looking grey and depressing. The air was pure and clean, it smelled fresh. Draco buried himself in a comfy armchair and started reading a book.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk why but I was struggling with English in this chapter so there might be some mistakes in tenses. (not my first language, lol). Also, can you tell I love rain?


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry goes to talk to Ron.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Took a bit more time than I expected.

Harry was thinking about therapy. Was it going to help him? Was he going to feel better after it? Or the only result would be him telling a complete stranger his feelings? Would the doctors laugh at him? Think he is pathetic? How could they not think he is pathetic, when Harry thinks that himself? 

Thinking would be so much better if he had Draco next to him. The blonde always calmed him and made him feel safe. Malfoy always was there for Harry when he had those weird shaking moments. Wait, did he like Draco? Noo, that is… impossible. That was friendship he was feeling. Yeah, definitely friendship. Just a good platonic bond. Better sleep or he would decide he is attracted to Ron.

Huh, Ron. He didn’t see him for quite a time. What was going on with him? Maybe he could go to his dorm and find out? It isn’t that late.

Harry stood up from the floor, threw on a hoodie, just the closest one that was laying on the floor, and walked out of his room.

Harry knocked on Ron’s door. The door opened and Potter saw the redhead peeking out of it. He looked quite disappointed, when he saw Harry.

\- Uhh, come in.

“Where did that come from? Did I miss something? Oh no, we probably had a fight but I just had a blackout at that time.” - Harry thought.

Ron was alone in his room, though the mess on the floor showed, that he wasn’t the only one living there. There were empty mugs, smelly clothes and… something that was moving? 

\- That’s Neville, don’t mind him, he’s just been studying too much lately and that is how he usually falls asleep. 

Ron said it like it was okay but Harry had never seen Neville like that. How much has changed since the last time he was living consciously and actually understanding what was happening around him. Without Draco he would have still been like that. Luckily, everything has changed after that time when he was sick. Harry started feeling alive again, like he was not just a ghost in Harry Potter’s body. How relieving it was to be living again.

\- Ron, I haven’t seen you lately. What happened between us?

The redhead was just starring with horror on Harry’s hoodie. It was like there was a spider sitting on it, trying to attack Ron.

\- Hey! Ron! What are you staring at?  
\- You… You are wearing his hoodie.  
\- What? 

Harry looked in the mirror for the first time after leaving his room. The hoodie on him was dark green with a big ’S’  
on it. Ron was right, it was Draco’s hoodie. That was why it felt so big and comfy on him. He buried himself deeper into the piece of clothing and breathed in the smell. It smelled of sour apples and book pages. Malfoy had probably left it there by accident. Well, now it’s his.

Harry turned back to Ron.

\- Only by accident. I didn’t see what I was wearing.  
\- Oh, no, you can’t trick me. You are always hanging out with him, doing homework and - Ron gulped, - cuddling.

The brunette thought for a second and chuckled. No, no. They weren’t dating. Ron was just exaggerating like always. And… Well, it did feel like they were dating. Maybe Harry even wanted them to be dating? Nah, it was just a crazy thought.

\- We’re not dating. We’re just friends.   
\- Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don’t want to see you kissing or hugging, so please tell your boyfriend to stay away from me.  
\- Ron, you’re being childish and unreasonable. Stop it. We’re friends, aren’t we?  
\- Don’t get me wrong. It’s okay if you are gay. But it’s not if you are gay with Malfoy.

“Gay with Malfoy?” Harry laughed out loud. Ron on the other hand, looked very serious.

\- I promise you, I don’t have anything going on with Draco.  
\- Aaah! You called him Draco.  
\- That is because it’s his name. And we are friends with him.

Ron nodded. He didn’t actually know what happened to Harry after that day he saw Malfoy and his best friend holding hands. He kind of distanced himself from Harry since then. The thought of his enemy dating his friend weirded him out. It was… wrong? Yeah, wrong.

But Malfoy did get Harry out of that awful state. Ugh, Harry was miserable back then. He owned that to the Slytherin. 

\- Draco found therapy for me. I am thinking about going.

They were sitting on the bed, it was very awkward. Not talking to a person and then talking about personal stuff is always awkward. Harry never felt so uncomfortable around Ron. Wait, no, he did. That one time, when Rom decided to show him how much his lips were chapped from all the kissing with his gf (what was her name?).

\- It’s great. You should go, it will help you be normal again.

Normal. He wasn’t normal. No. No. No. Harry started shaking, it was hard to breathe. Tears were streaming down his face. Not this again. He needed Draco. He wanted it to end. Where were the grey eyes? 

\- The hell? - Ron was panicking. It was the first time he saw his friend like that. 

It was hard to talk but Harry managed to spit out a few words.

\- Bring… Draco…. Please.

Ron was shocked but he obeyed and ran off to get the blonde as fast as possible. Ron had seen Malfoy a few times in the library, so that was the first place he went to. Luckily, he guessed right, the boy was curled up in an arm chair, reading a book. Ron came up to him, panting and not knowing what to say.

\- Harry said to bring you. He is shaking and…  
\- A panic attack. 

Draco didn’t need to hear anything else. He jumped out of the armchair and went out as quickly as possible, following Weasley to his dorm. Ugh, it was so messy. How did they live here? Is that a… person on the floor?

Malfoy spotted Harry and sat down next to him. He gently touched the boy, not to scare him away. After giving Potter a few seconds to get used to his hands, he hugged him.

\- It’s alright. Focus on me. Don’t think about other things. Focus.

Harry felt safe in Draco’s hands. Breathing became easier, things around him felt less weird. Yeah, Draco made him feel better. He wanted to bury himself in Malfoy’s soft chest, wanted to feel his breathing rhythm. That was just friendship, right?

Right?

Oh, no, it definitely wasn't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oof, feelingsarecompicated


	5. Draco Malfoy: The Fashion Disaster

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry invites Draco to a concert. Basically just a casual chapter, no drama (almost).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes, I used the band name from IANOWT but what would trendy/punk/gay Draco listen to, if not this? Anyway, if you are not okay with that just tell me in the comments ;)

Everything was quite fine lately. Harry wasn’t having any shaking moments and he even started attending lessons. His first therapy session was in a week but right Harry had some other plans he was thinking about.

\- Hey, Malfoy!

The blonde jumped up a bit, he didn’t expect anyone being behind him. He stopped, letting Harry come close to him.

\- Oh, Potter. Why so excited?

Harry proudly showed him his left hand. He was holding two dark red tickets. Draco saw the name of the band on them and gasped.

\- You didn’t! How?

Harry smiled. He knew Bloodwitch was Malfoy’s favorite band, he knew they were playing in Hogesmeade this evening. And he knew that the tickets were sold out. Though he still managed to get two tickets for them.

\- Well, I’m Harry Potter, I can do anything.

Harry laughed as Draco practically jumped on him, embracing the boy in a hug. 

\- Oh Potter, you are my favorite person in the world right now.

Harry smiled even wider. He knew they would have a good time at the concert. 

\- So, I’ll come by your room somewhere at ten, ok?  
\- Yeah, that’s fine. See you in the evening then.

Draco walked away, heading to his dorm to change into different clothes. He actually didn’t know what to wear, so that was going to be a problem. 

An idea popped in his head. He quickly cast a patronus (a beautiful peacock) and sent it to Granger. The girl came after a few minutes, she was dressed in grey sweatpants and a hoodie. Her hair was in a messy bun and she looked like she was awakened from her sleep.

\- Draco? What happened? Is it an emergency?  
\- A fashion emergency!

Hermione looked at him with confusion. Draco saw it and tried to explain.

\- Well, you see, Harry got us tickets to a concert tonight and uhh…  
\- You don’t know what to wear, right? 

They both giggled a little. Hermione took out her wand and opened the trunk that Malfoy had on his floor. She made all clothes fly out of it and line up in neat rows.

\- Let’s see…

Hermione examined all the clothes and started making outfits. It took her several minutes to form decent clothing choices and when she finished, she proudly showed the result to Draco.

The boy was stunned. He couldn’t have done even a single outfit and she managed to get five! Truly a powerful wizard.

\- Now try them on! Let’s see this one first.

Hermione gave Draco a neatly folded pile of clothes and waited for him, while he was changing in the bathroom. 

He opened the door and peeked out. Then, he fully entered the room. He was wearing a white shirt with two first buttons undone, a black tie hanging loose around his neck, and a pair of black trousers. He spun around to give Granger a full look.

\- How do I look?

The girl examined him and thought a few seconds before giving her verdict.

\- You said you were going to a club in Hogesmeade, right?  
\- Yeah.  
\- Too official. You need to be more casual, take this one.

She handed him the next pile.

Draco changed again and showed the next outfit to Hermione.

This time he was wearing a hoodie and black sweatpants.

\- No, no, no. Too casual. Try this one.

Draco changed and by the look on Hermione’s face, he knew this was the one.

He was wearing a black t-shirt, a jean jacket covered with pin badges and patches, wide jeans (he heard they had a funny name in the muggle world - mom jeans), and socks with little monsters on them. Yeah, Draco liked it, it was perfect. 

\- Just a little detail.

Granger handed him an earring. It was a black cross, it felt warm on Malfoy’s cold skin when he put it on. 

Hermione looked at him and smiled. She muttered ‘great job’ to herself and made a mental note to eat some pancakes later, as a reward. 

\- Well, I still have an hour until Harry comes to pick me up. Do you want to stay and talk?  
\- Yeah, sure.

They sat on the bed, legs crossed, all comfy. Hermione liked being friends with Draco. She could tell him everything, gossip with him, and just laugh about different things.

\- So, are you two going on a date? Or it’s just a casual hangout between friends?  
\- Well, I think it’s more of a hangout.

Hermione frowned. Draco would probably be a great boyfriend. Yeah, she could imagine the two boys spending days together, going on dates. She could trust Harry to the blonde. 

\- Draco, are you going to tell him?  
\- Tell what?  
\- That you like him!

Malfoy hesitated a bit and then started talking, he looked uncomfortable while he was speaking and Hermione tried to stop him but he continued.

\- I can’t tell him right now. He is too vulnerable, I will only hurt Harry, make it worse. He doesn’t need to question our relationship right now.   
\- But he needs the trust, the love you can give him, Draco.  
\- Harry can get that from our friendship. I don’t want to mess it up.

Hermione paused and hugged the boy.

\- It is very mature, Draco. But please, just don’t forget that you are also valued and important, okay?  
\- Okay.

She fixed the t-shirt that she crumpled, while hugging Malfoy. He was so precious, only thinking about how Harry would feel. It would do him bad eventually, so Draco must be aware of his own feelings too.

They heard a knock on the door. Malfoy jumped up and started running his fingers through his hair. He put on his dark grey sneakers and opened the door. He leaned forward to greet Harry but instead he bumped into the boy, slightly touching his nose.

\- Aah! Sorry, I expected you to be a bit further away.  
\- Oh no, it’s totally my fault, don’t apologise.

They both blushed and laughed awkwardly. Hermione squeaked in the background and immediately decided to shut up not to make everything even more awkward.

\- Have a nice time, you two!

She waved at the boys and smiled when they left. Hermione thought about leaving the room but Draco had so many books in it! “Nah, I’ll stay” - she thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in this chapter Hermione is just like "i ship it"


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys go to a concert.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why is Draco becoming more punk with every chapter? also, I am not a smoker, so the smoking scene is based only on the things I read on the internet ;w;

They entered the club in Hogesmeade. The music wasn’t playing but it was loud and crowded already. People were standing everywhere, holding drinks in their hands, chatting, laughing. Some were dressed in muggle clothes, some were wearing wizard clothes. They were mostly young, though there were some older generations as well. Every fifth person had a tattoo or dyed hair. The only lights were the blue-purple ones, they were creating a very comforting atmosphere.

Oh, Draco loved it here. It was awesome! He grabbed Harry by the wrist and pulled him into the centre of the crowd. They were just in time, the band was starting to play. Everyone turned to the stage, watching the members entering the stairs. 

There were three of them: a drummer, a singer, who was also playing the guitar, and a guy, who was playing the bass guitar. The singer was a redhead, her short cut hair was growing in every direction, looking very messy but cute on her.

Malfoy was jumping up and down with the crowd, singing along with the words. He was so happy, Harry liked to see him that way. The boy didn’t know any lyrics but he recognised some of the song titles from the vinyls in Draco’s room. The music was quite enjoyable, though it definitely wasn’t something Harry would listen to intentionally. 

The songs were getting slower and calmer, Draco was tired, so he and Harry went to grab a drink at the bar. There were several people, who were also getting drinks but most of the crowd was still listening to the band, slowly moving to the calming songs.

They both got butterbeers and sat on the nearest chairs. The boys were smiling, sitting silently. They both felt awkward because they didn’t know what to say to each other. It hasn’t been hard for them to talk before but somehow it was different now. A few times Harry would open his mouth and try to say something but only a shy “umm” would come out. 

A new song started playing and suddenly Draco’s eyes lit up, he finished his drink, and jumped up from his chair. He held out his hand, offering it to Harry.

\- I love that song! Wanna dance?  
\- Uuhh...

Draco didn’t for an answer and stood up taking Harry with him, finding his way into the center of the crowd. Harry was very shy and confused at first but he got used to it, and was enjoying every moment of it.

Malfoy was doing some weird moves, his eyes closed, feet stomping to the rhythm of the songs, hands up in the air. But other people weren’t looking strangely at him, they kind of did the same thing. Harry tried closing his eyes and moving his arms. Actually, it felt good. Yeah, he was enjoying it as much as Malfoy.

Draco looked at Harry and smiled. Finally, Potter was having a good time. They both earned it. It was a stressful two months. Malfoy’s smoking became worse. Luckily, he had a freshening spell memorised, so Harry never felt the smell of smoke on Draco’s hoodies. It wasn’t like he was ashamed of smoking, he just didn’t want to disturb Harry with the smell of it. Potter seemed to wear the blonde’s hoodies a lot. 

Draco chuckled to himself. Apparently, that song was the last one, so they kind of had to go. Though Malfoy didn’t want the night to end. 

They walked out of the club to the fresh air. It was a bit cold for an April night. There were no leaves yet, and no signs of spring. It was a weird kind weather. Not a wintery one, not a spring one.

Malfoy looked at Harry. They both had a great time and Draco didn’t want it to end. Will they have to just go their dorms? 

\- So, we just walk back to Hogwarts now? - Draco asked.

Harry looked at him with a smile. He took Malfoy by the hand.

\- Follow me. 

They were running hand in hand, chilly wind blowing in their faces. Then, Harry tripped and fell onto the soft grass, dragging Draco with him. They both collapsed to the ground, Draco landing on top of Harry. They both started laughing so hard, that their stomachs were hurting.

Draco playfully hit Harry’s shoulder. Harry was so cute snd clumsy.

\- You’re such a klutz!

Harry smiled. He hit Draco back and they ended up wrestling each other on the ground. Harry was the one who stopped first, trying to hold Malfoy from tickling him.

\- Okay, okay, I give up. I’m afraid that one you are going to tickle me to death.  
\- Oh, sorry.

Draco climbed off Harry and offered the boy his hand. When they both were standing on the ground, Malfoy looked around, trying to understand where were they. Suddenly, he realised. The building was abandoned and all of the windows were boarded up.

\- What are we doing at the Shrieking Shack?

Harry tightened his grip around Malfoy’s hand and entered the house, without saying anything. It was hard for him to be here after everything that happened. He gulped and squeezed Draco’s hand tighter. Awful flashbacks were flooding his mind, making it impossible for Harry to think straight. The only thing holding him from falling to the floor and starting crying was Malfoy’s cold hand.

\- Harry, are you alright?  
\- Yes. Everything’s fine, it’s just...

Draco stopped and looked into Harry’s eyes. They were so close, holding hands, looking each other in the eyes. A pair of grey-blue ones, a pair of green ones. The green eyes were filling up with bitter tears. Salty droplets were rolling down Harry’s cheeks, burning his skin. Draco wiped the tears off with his hand and started speaking softly.

\- Did I do something wrong? I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to.  
\- No, no, no. It’s not you. - Harry breathed out heavily. - Professor Snape was killed here, right in front of me.  
\- Oh god, I’m so sorry, it must be awful to be here. - Draco puled Harry in a tight hug. - Do you want to leave?  
\- No. Uhh, just follow me.

Malfoy was once again led by Harry. They were going somewhere upstairs, passing an impossible amount of stairs. The boys climbed onto the roof, entering a small balcony. 

The view was amazing. The sky was starting to get a bit lighter, showing that it was almost sunrise. Even though it was almost morning, all the stars could still be seen and the moon was shining bright, too. There were some little, puffy clouds. They were dark purple, looking like the most soft thing ever. It would be so great to just lie down in those soft clouds, drown in them, cuddling each other, slowly falling asleep.

Draco sat down on the little metal fence that was surrounding the balcony. His legs were hanging over it, he shifted his weight onto his hands that were clinging to the black fence. Malfoy reached for his pocket, taking out a cigarette and lit it up with his wand. He inhaled and breathed out the smoke. The action looked so peaceful, calm somehow. 

Harry came closer to him. He sat down on the wooden floor of the balcony, watching Draco’s movements. They were repetitive. Breathing in and breathing out, producing light clouds of smoke, over and over again. Harry didn’t mind it, though. They sat in silence for a while and then, the scarred boy started speaking.

\- How long have you been smoking?

A grey cloud of smoke escaped Draco’s thin lips before he answered.

\- Ever since Lucius has been sentenced to spend the rest of his life in Azkaban and Mother ran off to Italy. It’s a coping mechanism, a bad addiction based on past trauma. Pansy is drinking, Hermione is burying herself in books, you’re depressed, I’m smoking. It’s all just a coping mechanism.

Malfoy tilted his head back and breathed out the smoke. It was burning the inside of his lungs, he was enjoying it. He laughed out loud. It sounded weird, scary, a maniac kind of laugh. He was so pathetic. Liking the thing that hurt him. The thing that was slowly destroying his lungs but at the same time wrapping his organs in a warm blanket. It was keeping him warm at cold nights. The nights he would spend sitting on the roof of Hogwarts, smoking, thinking. Those were the nights his insides burned the most. His lungs from the cigarettes, his heart from all the pain he had to go through. 

Harry looked at the stars, they were so peaceful. Then, he looked at Malfoy. He didn’t know much about him. He was so mysterious. Harry knew that Draco was hurt. He knew it without the words, he could see it in his eyes. It wasn’t easy for Harry to talk about his feelings, though he did share with Malfoy. The blonde was completely different. He didn’t open up at all, he tried not to show any signs of his feelings. Harry felt it, though. He felt it in that maniac laugh, in the way he breathed out the smoke, in the way he was sitting on the balcony fence (like he could jump from it any second, like it would be nothing for him to just let go of the black metal and fall). The scarred boy wanted to help Malfoy so much but how could he, if he couldn’t even help himself.

\- Draco, I don’t know much about you. Would you mind if I asked you some questions?

Malfoy put out his cigarette and vanished it with his wand. He wasn’t looking at Potter. He was afraid that the boy would understand everything by looking in his eyes. 

\- Sure, go ahead.

Harry stopped for a second to think what would he like to ask. So many questions were filling his head but he didn’t want to scare Draco away. Better start with something simple.

\- What’s your favorite color?  
\- Purple. Everybody thinks it’s green but I truly hate it. Never liked it, had to cope with my dorm being green for six whole years!  
\- What animal is your patronus?  
\- A peacock. It’s probably because the Malfoy manor - Malfoy pronounced the name of the house in a sarcastic tone. - was surrounded by them while I was growing up. Lucius had them brought there by a plane from some warm country, don’t remember the name.  
\- Why are you calling your dad by his name?  
\- He told me I wasn’t his son, when I came out. If he can’t accept me, why do I want him to be my father?  
\- That must be so hard to have a parent not accept you the way you are. I’m sorry, Draco.  
\- It’s fine.

But it wasn’t fine. Malfoy wanted to cry and scream into the darkness. He wanted someone to hold him, someone to comfort him. He wanted his dad back. 

\- Do you have any regrets? - Harry was continuing with the questions.  
\- Probably not being nice to people. Look at me now, I have a few friends and I am happy. Well, mostly. - the last sentence Draco whispered to himself.  
\- Have you ever seen a movie?

Malfoy turned to Harry and looked at him with confusion.

\- A what?  
\- A movie! It’s like a moving picture but a very long one and there are different characters and scenes and they all are talking. We should go see one, in the summer.  
\- Yeah, sure, that would be great.

Draco smiled. Harry was so funny when he was talking about muggle stuff.

\- If you could pick a weapon, what would you pick?  
\- My wan-  
\- Your wand doesn’t count!  
\- A stabbing knife, then.  
\- Yeah, sure, they are pretty cool. Okay, next question. What color would you dye your hair?

They were both sitting on the wooden floor of the balcony, now. Malfoy was leaning against the metal fence and Harry’s was sitting on the opposite side of the small space, leaning against the old wall. Chilly breeze was tangling their hair, making it messier than it already was.

\- Black or pink.  
\- What is your favorite weather?  
\- Rain! It’s kinda sad but at the same time very nice and comforting. And yours?  
\- Uhh, snow. I’m always happy when it’s snowing. I feel peaceful when everything is covered in snow.  
\- So you’re a wintery boy, huh?

They both let out a laugh. Draco didn’t realise how but they were already sitting together, leaning against the wooden wall, Malfoy’s hand in harry’s hair. It was so soft and curly, he was running his fingers through it. Harry shuddered a bit and smiled.

\- Stop it, your fingers are making me cold!  
\- Oh, sorry, I thought you liked wintery things.  
\- Yeah but you’re like the Winter King.  
\- Here, have my jacket, it’s warm and big, so you can wrap yourself in it.  
\- But you would get cold, sitting only in a t-shirt.  
\- I’m the Winter King, don’t you remember?

Harry sinked himself in the warm material. It was way bigger than Harry’s usual clothes. He actually lost a lot of weight since the war, so now all his clothe were big for him. Draco was taller than Harry so his jacket was even bigger for the brunette.

\- Okay, back to the questions. Have you ever had a best friend?  
\- Well, before this year? No. Right now? I am very close to Granger. She did pierce my ear after all, that is a serious level of trust.  
\- Yeah, that’s why you are still calling her “Granger” and not Hermione.  
\- It’s just an old habit, you know.  
\- What does amortentia smell like to you?  
\- Never smelled it, actually. No one tried to charm me with a strong love potion.  
\- What a shame, it would be interesting to know. Next question. What was the best phrase you overheard?  
\- Left leg is for fools!

They both laughed.

\- Yeah, okay, that is funny. Would you like to be a girl for one day?  
\- Hmm, I gotta think for a second. - Malfoy was quiet for a bit. - Yeah, sure, I love experimenting.  
\- Any funny stories about scars?  
\- I have a scar on my right knee, I got it because I really wanted a pine cone, that I saw in the forest but I tripped and fell, tearing off half my knee.  
\- Ohh, that must have hurt.  
\- Yeah but I did get the pine cone, so everything’s great.

They were sitting silent for a moment. In the silence a few words escaped from his lips. He didn’t know how it happened, he was thinking of it and somehow he just asked Draco.

\- Do you like me?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I just make a cliffhanger?


End file.
